Entertainment Corner: The "Jersey Shore" Eagles
In what is quickly becoming a new tradition, the Eagles' season ended at the beginning of this month in heartbreaking fashion. However, with one season ending another begins, just in time to fill the void left by fantasy football: Season 3 of "Jersey Shore." Unrelated? Hardly. Oddly enough, there are a number of similarities between the personalities in the Eagles' locker room and those in a beach house in Seaside Heights, NJ. If you are an Eagles fan looking to jump in and start watching "Jersey Shore," here is your guide:
The standout star on the Eagles last season was Michael Vick, while the breakout star on "Jersey Shore" is Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino. In addition to sharing a first name, both of these men are larger-than-life figures: they can pull off "plays" that seem nearly impossible and know when a "play" has collapsed and it's time to cut and run. Whether you are watching the Eagles or "Jersey Shore," you watch to see what these guys do next (and to see what kind of messes they somehow wiggle out of).
DeSean Jackson is the Eagles' diminutive wide receiver with extra swagger. The "Jersey Shore" beach house has a similar character in Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi. When Snooki isn't getting denied the joy of dropping inside a large hamster-like ball to ring in the New Year, her big mouth and even bigger personality demand the attention of her housemates, not unlike like the Eagles number-one wideout Jackson.
Two often overlooked but essential players on the Eagles are Trent Cole and LeSean McCoy. Arguably, these two were the offensive and defensive MVPs of the team last season. Like Cole and McCoy, "Jersey Shore" also has two cool-as-ice characters in Vinnie and Pauly D - the "V" and the "P" to "Jersey Shore's" Mikey-Vinnie-Pauly "MVP" trio. If Vinnie and Pauly D are not on "Jersey Shore," I am not writing this article. It doesn't hurt that these guys know exactly when "It's t-shirt time!" and when to "beat up the beat."
Who else was frustrated with all the games that Asante Samuel missed this past season? Sure, he is flashy, has a flair for the dramatic, and "doesn’t get paid to tackle," but he is a key component to the Eagles defense. On "Jersey Shore," there is no one flashier than Jenni "Jwoww" Farley (although you could probably tell that from her name). Jenni dresses to impress, but don't let appearances fool you - Jenni is the one person on the show that is probably tough enough to play on the Eagles, and she isn't afraid of fisticuffs. Also, she may even hit harder than Asante.
One relationship that we Eagles' fans were tired of seeing was the one between Andy Reid and Sean McDermott. Now that it has ended, viewers of "Jersey Shore" might likewise be calling for end of the relationship between Ronnie and Sammi "Sweetheart." It's possible everyone will be much bigger fans of Andy now that he's moved on from the partner who was dragging him down. Ronnie should follow his lead.
A new cast member, Deena, is being introduced this season on "Jersey Shore." Deena was cast to spice up the show and replace Angelina, the only original cast member that managed to not become famous or live up to her potential (the Winston Justice of "Jersey Shore"). Like "Jersey Shore's" new castmate Deena, the Eagles need a similar upgrade on the defensive side of the ball. Hopefully, Nnamadi Asomugha, a coveted free agent cornerback, inks a deal with the Eagles this offseason. But don't hold your breath. No deals will be signed until a new labor agreement between players and owners is in place.
And there you have it - an Eagles' Fan's Guide to the mystery and wonder of "Jersey Shore."
Joseph P. Gushue is an associate at Volpe and Koenig P.C. and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.